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Write your own epitaph's Journal

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

10:03PM - Can't resist... Feel free to post yours!

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Friday, September 16, 2005

2:46PM - Be aware, be very aware...


Thursday, February 3, 2005

9:11PM - autoerotic asphyxiation

"When you find my body hanging . . . with a tight noose around my neck, do not look for a murderer. I have executed myself. I say execute rather than suicide because I didn't really intend to hang unto death."

Friday, January 28, 2005

11:26PM - Not mine, but a good 'un, nonetheless


Thursday, November 18, 2004


Join australian_poet

For Australians and those who enjoy Australian poetry (and others forms of writing.)

As for my epitaph...

In some white stone I'd like to have a life-sized statue of the Archangel Michael, with his left hand infront of his heart, holding a dove, and his right hand pointing up towards Heaven, and his eyes looking up towards God in His abode. At the base I'd like, 'God's in His Heaven, all's right with the world.' I would also like the date of my death to be written at the base, with each of the Roman numerals of the date constituting a word in a Latin sentence. But nowhere do I want my name written upon the statue or its base.

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

2:52PM - When I die……..

Hi, I'm Claire. I'm 21......

Before my death I’d make a memory book/box filled w/ all the stuff I love

EPITAPH: ‘like a bat out of hell I’ll be gone when the morning comes’ – Meat Loaf


I will have the Rev Paul Sinclair to take a non-religious biker funeral (http://www.motorcyclefunerals.com) , and my body’d be in the sidecar while he burned hard. Then I’d be cremated in my favourite Iron Maiden shirt/one of my hard rock shirts and jeans holding my beloved odel Ducati bike - well, I won’t feel the pain will I? I won’t be put in the church – that’s pointless as I am totally un-religious.

There’d be lots of music (GNR, Meat Loaf, Iron Maiden, Sabbath, Priest, early Motorhead, etc, that sort of thing – as in life) in particular this song: Iron Horse - Born To Lose. Love it.


1.Donations to Scope, the cerebral palsy charity, for research into curing/preventing cerebral palsy
2.Donations to Cats Protection League
3. Each day, sit by my spot wherever my ashes are and play one of my favourite songs and also leave me a beer.

Current mood: contemplative

Wednesday, July 7, 2004

7:19AM - Nice Idea, "what if" epitaphs...

If I Commit Suicide:
 'Rayless, and pathless,
 and the icy earth Swung
  blind and blackening
  in the moonless air;
Morn came and went-- and
came, and brought no day'
     -- Byron

If I Die of 'Natural Causes':
 We tried to warn him,
  "Heads up, mister!"
 And with an "Okay..."
Pop! His head flew away.

(Yes, I made that one up. Just now.)

My Old Standby (Cheap, too:)
Here Lies ____________ :

1:40AM - How fun. . .

ooooh. The pressure of choice. . . especially depending on which way I'm getting a ticket out of here.

If I'm still freaky: "Here lies Kirsten, her Gothic pallor acheived at last."

If I commit suicide: "They say love is the slowest form of suicide, but I argue. It took fourteen years to finally shoot that bullet through my brain."

Any situation:"It is said that something as small as the flutter of a butterfly’s wing can ultimately cause a typhoon halfway across the world. ----Chaos Theory" --Just cause I like it.--

Quote from my poetry:
"A corpse’s flesh so white,
Eyes glazed, shall see no hate,
Decomposing wounds as black as night,
There is only beauty in decay."

Ok. Out of ideas for now. I'll write some more if the mood strikes me. Bye, my morbid friends!

Current mood: gloomy

Thursday, June 3, 2004


This is a good one too:

"I came, I saw, I decomposed!"

Current mood: gloomy

Saturday, May 29, 2004


"Here lies such-'n-such,
I'll thank you not to drag your
butt across my grave!"

Current mood: amused

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

4:58PM - Deep sigh of relief!


Just a quick blurb... today is the greatest day of ever! The war is not yet over, but the immediate battle has been won! Nearby where I live, they wanted to put 4 perverts out for a experimental rehab. One of those perverts was convicted of sodomizing a 14 month old boy! My little sis goes to school within walking distance of this rehab house. There's so many more details of disgust that I can go into, but right now I've explained it so many times that I'm tired!

I'm still going to be there for the graveyard shift protest until the safety of all the children in the area is guaranteed. If my sister, mom, niece or myself were raped, would Inland Regional just shrug their shoulders?! Hind sight is 20-20 and in the words of my favorite song, I'm more than just a little curious how you plan on to go around and make your amends to the dead.

Current mood: jubilant

Thursday, January 8, 2004


well, i'm horrible at writing things that are short and sweet, but here is my epitaph:

here lies grace
she was killed while exploring interplanitary space
she has disovered intellegent life, it seems
with some mean screams
and quite a nasty mace

Cause of death: The famous female astronaut landed on the small, icy planet benflagalooshemen to see if there was any intellegent life in or around the planet. Unfortunatley, there was life, just not very intellegent. she saw a movement in the ground and approached it. a giant canine-like creature sprang up with a giant mace and ran after her. Her reflexes aren't the greatest, so before she could move, she was a bloody heap in the blank terrain.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

3:05PM - Don't ask about the tombstone.

Here lies mokie
Who died mid-poking
If she hadn't preferred canine
She would have been fine

Thursday, October 9, 2003


"The woodchipper is not a toy...
I know that now."

Friday, September 19, 2003


She should have done something
to better herself...

She never did.

All she did was cry.

Current mood: worried

Thursday, July 17, 2003



Monday, July 14, 2003

12:02PM - Snippet from an AIM convo....

IainUlysses: But I don't want my epitaph to read "didn't spend money on tires, died in rain"

Current mood: amused

Saturday, July 5, 2003

3:44PM - Epitaph and funeral for Phishtails ...

Mode of death: Something fast, exciting, and humorous, eg: opening my parachute and having laundry come out instead of silk; a motorcycle collision with a circus wagon; a heart attack while banging an underage prostitute in a port-o-john; something that cops would get a chuckle out of after having to go through a couple years of therapy.

Funeral: Having my nude body shot out of a cannon into an unexpected public gathering like Disney World or a Teletubbies On Ice audience. Tattooed on my face: "If found, please drop in nearest US mailbox" with enough postage stamps on my butt to cover shipping. After cremation, mix my ashes with a pound of cocaine cut with Drano and ship to George W Bush.

Epitaph: "Just kidding -- or was I?"

Current mood: exanimate

Wednesday, June 18, 2003


[carved on a figure drifting through space after the heat death of the universe]


Wednesday, March 19, 2003

12:42PM - When I die...

Hm... When I die, I want to do it with style. First of all I'm going to get a shotgun. Then I'll organize a party to wich I'd invite only my close friends... Then I'd get everybody drunk (that's going to be easy, I'm going to buy lots and lots of alcohol) and when everybody is there, having fun I'm going to lock the door, take the shotgun and start shooting every-single-one-of-them. After doble-shooting everybody on the head (to make sure that they're really dead) I'm going to proceed to blow my head off.

Now, I'm not crazy, all this have a really good explanation: I want to do that because I worry about my friends, I know them, and I know that they're going to sufer for my absence, so I'm just going to take them with me (like the faraon or the kings from the old world use to do)... That and the fact that I want my parents to have a hard time cleaning the mess.

My epitaph?

"Here lies a man how love his friends more than life itself...
And next to him all the friends he ever loved"

Well, that is one. The other one involves a pound of cocaine, two Thai prostitute and of course a shotgun.

Current mood: cynical

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